"I need to be more disciplined." "I don't have the discipline." "I lost the discipline." No matter how we say it, not having discipline is one of the most frequent reasons I hear for why we're struggling to manifest what we want in our lives. What's up with that?
It seems to me, when we focus on "lacking discipline," we're missing the point. The point is to focus on the bigger possibility we're inspired to experience. It's this possibility that motivates us to take action ... and be disciplined.
Here's a simple illustration. I have a client whose Point of You phrase is "suck it up." Not surprisingly, she has achieved significant business success, in part, because she has the discipline to suck it up and do what needs to be done to succeed. She's grateful for her success and, with free time now, finding herself unmotivated unless she's pushing herself, even to do things she enjoys and says she wants to do. She was feeling like she lacked the discipline to do it, of course, because her diminished state of being says she just needs to suck it up.
As we explored some specifics, we realized she was focusing on "whats" and "shoulds." "I should do yoga. I should reach out to this person. And I should clean up this pile of jewelry, that's been sitting here for a week." What possibilities was she creating for herself? To go to yoga. To make a phone call. To clean up. What was missing from these "to dos" was the inspiration that comes from "why" you'd choose to do any of them. Here's approximately how our conversation unfolded:
Me: "Do you like your jewelry?"
Client: "Yes, I love my jewelry. I own lots of beautiful jewelry!"
Me: "Oh, do you get to enjoy it when it's in a pile on your table?"
Client: "No, I don't. I'm just reminded that I have to clean it up."
Me: "What new possibility would you have, if you organized your jewelry?"
Client: "I could admire the beauty and remember I get to wear each piece, too."
Me: "Oh, so you get to organize your jewelry to give yourself the possibility to appreciate and enjoy its beauty every day?"
Client: "Yes, I do!"
Me: "Do you still feel like you need discipline to do this?"
Client: "Hah, funny, no I don't. I'm actually excited to do it!"
Me: "So your diminished state of being tells you to suck it up and use discipline to push yourself to do things. Your undiminished state of being invites you to create, feel grateful for and enjoy — "to drink up" — the possibility of beauty in your life."
Client: "Yes, I get it!"
I love my work! I get to help people get to the point, see new possibilities and live inspired lives. One part of my business that used to feel like a "have to do" was invoicing ... until I remembered the point ... for all of us to get to experience the ultimate expression and value of our unique existence. What better way to allow myself this possibility, than by connecting with the people I'm grateful to get to work with, recalling and appreciating our latest uncoveries together, and allowing myself to request and receive payment from them? Can you see, if I'm not inspired to do invoicing, then I'm completely missing the point? Now, I'm motivated to keep up with invoicing, not because I "have to" (which, technically, I do), but because I "get to."
If there's something you say you want to do, and you're struggling to find the discipline to do it, consider that perhaps you're missing the point. Ask yourself what possibility taking this step would (begin to) give you. Does this possibility excite you? Maybe even scare you a little? Will you give yourself this chance? I'm seeing, that when we focus on possibility, and let ourselves be inspired by it, we're more likely to discover the motivation — and the discipline — that's been eluding us.